In this blog post, Susanna Taylor, Oakland Family Services’ early childhood programs outcomes coordinator, shares her experiences being diagnosed with and treated for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) as an adult and reflects on the impact ADHD has had on her life.

I was 23 when I was diagnosed with ADHD. I’d struggled with concentration and memory my entire life, and I remember being terrified at the appointment, convinced the psychiatrist would tell me I was overreacting or lacking self-discipline, something I’d been told many times before by teachers and other role models. But after finishing the assessment he sat back in his chair, pondered the results, then proclaimed:

“Well, you definitely have ADHD.”

I am hardly a unique case when it comes to girls with ADHD being overlooked. Boys are diagnosed with ADHD at over twice the rate of their female counterparts — and it’s not just because ADHD is more common in boys. A recent study suggests that women and girls with ADHD have a tendency to be underdiagnosed because their symptoms are more likely to be internal, like distractibility and inattentiveness, which is less likely to attract the notice of teachers and other adults, especially when compared to more externalized behaviors such as hyperactivity. It has also been suggested that while ADHD symptoms are viewed as just that — symptoms — in boys, they’re often seen as part of a girl’s personality, such as being a “Chatty Cathy,” a “tomboy,” or a “daydreamer.” Entering adolescence and young adulthood without a proper diagnosis and treatment could mean major adjustment problems, poor self-esteem and other complications.

Looking back, I can see how not being diagnosed sooner drastically affected my perception and self-worth. I believed I was stupid because I struggled to pass classes with unengaging teachers or subjects that didn’t excite me. I thought I was unlikeable because my easily-derailed train of thought made communication with other people difficult, and I felt constantly disconnected from the “normal” people around me. I considered myself to be irresponsible because time management was a foreign concept to me; I’d routinely turn in assignments with seconds to spare, show up 10-15 minutes late for classes, and stay up late reading until three, even four in the morning, even on school nights.

Have you ever been to a pool or a beach on a hot sunny day? You don’t even realize how loud it is until you dunk your head underwater, and suddenly all the noise, all the chaos fades away. Taking medication for the first time felt exactly like that. I had no idea how loud my world was until it was quieter, and suddenly I was able to focus and get things done. The amount of time dedicated to errands halved, my projects were completed before the midnight deadline, my grades immediately improved, and I was suddenly able to enjoy and excel in subjects I’d previously struggled in.

That’s not to say that medication magically fixes everything. Part of having ADHD (or any disability) means learning how the disorder impacts your life and what you can do to cope and compensate. After spending months with a burned-out lightbulb in my bathroom because I kept forgetting about the lack of light every time I walked out of the room, I learned to keep a box of lightbulbs in every room of my house. If I have anything sitting on the stove or in the oven, even for a little as a minute, I know I need to set a timer or I’ll get distracted and the entire meal will go up in smoke. It took lighting my hair on fire twice to remember that I needed to be aware of the open flame on my stovetop when setting the timer. I write down everything in a series of notebooks stuffed with Post-Its and coded symbols and set up calendar reminders for anything I don’t want to forget. Little things like this may seem inconsequential, but they make coping with my ADHD easier in my day-to-day life.

Because of these compensations, I have often had well-intentioned people express doubt over my diagnosis, citing reasons such as: “You seem so put-together!” or “You’re so responsible!” or “You’re so on top of things!” While I appreciate what they’re trying to say, the simple fact of the matter is that I had to work hard to achieve the state of ‘normal’ that most neurotypical people are born with. Using claims like these as evidence against my disorder is not only dismissive of all of that effort, it also perpetuates the myth that neurodivergent people are incapable of functioning well or achieving success. We are not broken or incomplete because of our disabilities.

In fact, there are many times where I have found having ADHD to be a benefit. After all, just because a world is loud doesn’t mean it’s bad. When I worked in a psychiatric hospital, being able to divide my attention between what I was doing and what was going on around me was hugely beneficial for ensuring the safety of myself and my patients. In my position here at Oakland Family Services as a program outcomes coordinator, I’ve found my hyper-fixation activates whenever I’m building a new program or am faced with a particularly challenging task, which means faster completion rates on my projects. Outside of work, I’m rarely ever bored because there’s always something new to try or a problem to solve — especially when it means I can avoid the much-hated task of mowing the lawn. It’s amazing how efficient I can be when I’m avoiding mowing the lawn.

Having ADHD doesn’t mean that I am lazy, unintelligent, unmotivated, or lack self-discipline. It just means that I see the world differently. But at the end of the day, don’t we all? We all have our own struggles, our own challenges. Learning not just to tolerate but to appreciate and even celebrate these differences is a vital part of cultivating a world of acceptance and inclusivity — a world that we can all be proud to call home.

Oakland Family Services offers various services for children and adults who have ADHD. If you are a parent interested in learning ways to best parent a child under age 6 with ADHD, contact our Early Childhood Services specialist at (248) 858-7766 ext. 1209 or elee@ofsfamily.org to ask about our Parents as Teachers program. We also provide support for children, youth and adults with ADHD through our Day One mental health program and for eligible children and their families through Specialized Services for Youth.

Hello! My name is Susanna Taylor. I have been with Oakland Family Services for just over two years as the early childhood program outcomes coordinator. I greatly enjoy my work with the agency, which combines my background in psychology with my love of data analytics and research, and educating others on the importance of self care and mental health.