Grandmother begins to understand how trauma has impacted her life after seeking help from Oakland Family Services for her granddaughter

TRIGGER WARNING: This story contains references to suicide attempts and sexual assault. Stories like this can sometimes cause disturbing or negative feelings or responses, or remind you of trauma that you've gone through. If you need help, please reach out to Oakland Family Services at 248.858.7766.

Susan was no stranger to trauma when she brought her granddaughter to Oakland Family Services’ Specialized Services for Youth to get help. When Susan was 7 years old her mother abandoned her family and at 15 years old, Susan was raped by her stepbrother and gave a child up for adoption. Later in life, Susan also had a daughter, who had no known history of mental illness, die of suicide at 15 years old.

Susan went through years of therapy to deal with the trauma she experienced. When Susan found herself raising her granddaughter, Emma, who had a history of rape, serious mental health issues and threatening to kill herself, she was overwhelmed and turned to Oakland Family Services.

Not only did Emma get treatment for depression, post traumatic stress disorder and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, Susan got help from Jennifer Batey, a parent support partner in Specialized Services for Youth. 

“Jennifer is there for me when I am having a hard time coping with Emma,” said Susan, who became Emma’s legal guardian in October 2019. “She helped me find resources if I was having a hard time getting food or struggling paying bills. There were days I just cried and didn’t know if I could handle it, and she was there to support me and tell me it’s ok to feel this way. I could text her. She is awesome, I love her.”

Batey has seen Susan’s parenting skills strengthen over the year they have worked together. In the beginning, Susan frequently called the crisis line for Specialized Services for Youth when she and her granddaughter had conflicts or if her granddaughter was threatening to harm herself.

“Susan and I started working on boundaries and positive parenting skills,” Batey said. “Susan listened to everything I said and never argued. She always said, ‘Let's try, it can't hurt.’ Susan started changing her ways at home, the crisis calls stopped, and things improved.”

The agency’s Parent Advisory Council/Teen Advisory Council (PAC/TAC) meetings also have been beneficial for both Susan and Emma. PAC serves as an advocate for families who have children experiencing those types of challenges while TAC includes teens who struggle with depression, anxiety or other emotional or mental challenges.

“I love it because I know I am not the only one out here dealing with all this,” Susan said. “There are more than one kid who are like this. A lot of parents and grandparents get together at the meetings. We laugh, we joke, we eat good, and we have fun. When Emma sees other kids it makes her feel better, too.”

Besides PAC/TAC, Susan has attended a few trauma-informed care parenting classes through Specialized Services for Youth. She said the meetings have helped her better understand the effects of trauma on both her and her granddaughter.

“I didn’t realize how much trauma affects you when you are a kid,” she said. “It took me back to when I was young. I didn’t know why I acted the way I did sometimes. I learned about triggers and what I can do to help a child during those moments.”

Susan is now 51 years old and hopes to go back to school to become a nurse. She reunited with the daughter she gave up for adoption in January 2010 and has a 29-year-old son, a 27-year-old daughter and six grandchildren.

Read how Oakland Family Services has helped Susan’s granddaughter find the light in her life again.